What if they're not my people?

networking Dec 07, 2020

Recently one of my Network in Action Members asked me this question, “What if I'm going to these other events and they're not my people? Is there a way that I can make them my people?”

My first initial reaction is a, "No, you're in the wrong room." 

But then I started to think about it. 

I have attended events and thought, "Oh, I could be doing something else with my time. This is super boring. These are definitely not my people."

It’s the environment

In my many years of networking, I have also discovered that sometimes it’s the environment that makes people behave a certain way. 

For example, I attended an event that was a tad, shall I say, boring.  And the people seemed boring.  But I was at a different event a few weeks later with some of those same people, but they were vibrant, outspoken, and fun to be around.  

So in that case, it was the environment that dictated the behavior of the people.  Sometimes it encourages us to be a little bit more reserved and buttoned up.  But sometimes the environment encourages a different behavior. 

After thinking about that, my answer to the member was “Before you write those people off as not your people.  Think about inviting some of those people to get to know you better.  They may be an excellent complement to what you do or even a great potential client or referral partner.  Invite them to another type of event and see how they show up in a different space.”

Change the environment

Think about it - if that’s who they are, then they are going to show up in a different environment in the same way. However, if they just don’t feel the liberty to be a little bit more themselves in that room, then you get to figure out if they are really your people in a different setting. 

And then, you have taken a lost opportunity and created something brand new.

So the next time, you are at an event thinking that these “aren’t your people.”  Try inviting a few to another event to see them in a different environment before passing completely. 


I help people to network more effectively, to follow up like a rockstar, and to really increase their sales by being more of themselves. That's my jam. If you have questions that I might be able to help you with, feel free to reach out. 

You can schedule a complimentary session to get some questions answered. 

In the meantime, go be a blessing to someone and make a connection.


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